Circles and Loops

Grief is not linear. It does not come in stages. It loops back, squiggles forward, circles and dips. Like everyone says (everyone who’s been there, I mean), it comes in waves. Buried in novel revisions, focused on creating, I’ve been doing okay. But then I hit send to deliver my manuscript to my agent, looked […]

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The Path

Lately, I’ve lapsed. I’ve let weeks pass without posting on my blog when, for a few years, I’ve managed to keep up the routine of a pretty regular Thursday post. But I hope you’ll forgive me. Life has been so crazy lately – with my brother’s death and my mother’s recent serious surgery (I’m in Ontario […]

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I’m Not Okay (And That’s Okay)

Yesterday, my doctor asked me if I’m “getting past” my brother’s death. It’s only been eight weeks, I said. And he was my brother. In some ways, I’ll never ‘get past’ it. Yes, she said, looking away. We keep them in our hearts. Well, duh. I don’t really need the platitude, thank you very much. […]

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To Write

Since coming home I’ve been working steadily on a novel that was always meant to be for Tim. It breaks my heart that he won’t ever get to see that dedication – for my brother – and to really get how much he meant to me and how much our relationship, often challenging, always complex, also enriching […]

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Wild and Precious Life

Home. Giving myself some time. Taking a few days to rest, process, walk the dog, knit, read, take photographs, sip tea and keep walking this trail… My compatriot, Pam Bustin, put this poem by Mary Oliver up on her blog on Tuesday, and it gave me peace and solace and a finger pointing towards the bigger […]

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Words Fail

It’s hard to write this, hard to be here. Most of you who read my blog might already know this from our other online connections but my brother died a week and a bit ago. I found out on the afternoon of Sunday the 16th, while I was launching my online course. I have said so […]

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